March 17th

Well I thought the most exciting part of today’s post was going to be when I face planted while on a run and scratched up my hands and knees. Because otherwise the day was chilly weather, yoga mid morning (Revolution – Day 12 – In Sync Practice), cushion mountain building with Dash, chasing baddies on a trampoline as my alter ego Jeminey Peach with the great super heroes Spiderman (Orlando) and Super Speed (Dash). Some friends of the family stopped by in the evening so the boys cutely played with their girlfriends after eating and before getting ready for bed.

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Juddie and Godfrey thought they would get away for the evening, kid free dinner and conversation. You know, a date night that two loving and hard working parents rightly deserve and need. I was more than happy to stay home and put the kids to bed. Dash, however, was not. I went in to start reading the boys their bedtime stories and Dash ran out of the room to try and get his parents to stay. After much cajoling, Godfrey eventually carried Dash into the room and closed the door. I read the stories, but Dash was still upset. So he ran out of the room again.

I wasn’t too concerned, it’s usually best not to give attention to their outbursts. I finished the story I was reading Orlando. Since Juddie and Godfrey had left, I told Orlando I’d read him his last book in a minute, but first I needed to check on Dash.

So I walked into the hallway, peeked in a couple of rooms, looked in the kitchen, behind the couch, no Dash. Did another sweep of the bottom floor. At this point Orlando is following me around the house, repeating my every call of “Dash?” I lifted Orlando onto my knee and started checking Dash’s favorite haunts in the garden. While I didn’t hear the doors to the outside open and close, I know Dash sometimes crawls through the dog door. Still, no Dash.

Dash turns 5 in a month. He’s not very good at hiding. And he’s even worse at being quiet. Or so I thought.

A couple weeks ago Juddie and Godfrey went out in the afternoon while I was playing with the boys outside. Dash had a similar reaction, going so far as to run to the front gate and try to leave the property entirely. So now all I can think is while I was finishing up Orlando’s book, Dash went out through the dog door and started running down the street in pursuit of his parents.

So I walk out onto the street and glance up and down either way but don’t see him immediately. I go back inside, knowing that to search anymore I need more manpower. Because at this point my mind is back in the radio room at Philmont, going through the parts of a missing persons form and developing a plan. I go back inside, do a slightly more thorough search of the house and, when Dash doesn’t appear behind any beds or under any tables, I call Juddie & Godfrey. They start heading home. I recheck the house, now saying “Your parents are heading home now, Dash come out to say hello to them.” Orlando repeats me as I recheck the bedroom. And then I hear, from the hallway “Orlando!”

It was Dash. He was behind a door. A door in the hallway.

-_-

Still in S&R mode, I call Juddie & Godfrey to let them know Dash was in the house the whole time. They continue to head home.

I go into the boys’ bedroom where Dash in now very happily sitting on his bed. I did my best to explain to Dash why what he did was wrong, but unfortunately he was successful in his mission- his parents were in fact coming home. And at that point I kinda needed them to come back because I did not know how to discipline him properly. I mean, I don’t feel comfortable making that decision. Dash was asking for his two books to be read and I said no, he missed out on his story time. But I did promise Orlando his second book, so I read that to him. And then Dash asked for the prerecorded stories while Orlando asked for music. I said “I take requests from brothers who behave well, so we will listen to music.”

But I really don’t think Dash was listening to my low level lecture and denial of his wants. Being disrespected and ignored by a 4 year old is just plain demoralizing.

Well, Godfrey came in shortly after and I promptly grabbed a Dr. Pepper from the fridge. As I opened the can the carbonation escaped, along with the temporary fence around my emotions and stress. My mind became unfocused as images of missing persons situations I’ve been involved with in the past flashed in a circle that now included Dash. And how ironic it is that I -just- had a conversation with my mom in which she said “Just wait until the first time one of your children hides from you in a store.”

Shout out to Justin for working nights in a hospital so even though he’s in Maryland I knew I could message him and that he would understand my head space, considering his job is one emergency after another.

Once I wrote the story out to him I felt much better. I just needed a debrief. I describe a play by play. And then I felt settled.

The Dr. Pepper helped too 🙂

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